If Gods Were Here
If Jesus returns today, no one will accept him as Jesus. White conservative Christians would be in complete denial and suggest that he’s too dark to look like the Son of God. They’ll likely deport him from a European or American airport for looking too foreign.
If Muhammad were here today, we wouldn’t even know. I don't know why, but no one ID’ed the guy back in the day. That way, Muslims like to treat their God just like their women - keep them out of the picture.
If Ganpati was here today, the media would exploit him in the segments where they parade the oddballs. Society would fat-shame him and his peers would bully him for that weird head. It would be beneath the dignity of any Hindu Brahmin family to let their girl marry that freak.
If Krishna was still alive, he would be canceled by the Twitter Woke Gang for enabling Raas-Leela when he was sixteen and for perpetrating violence against a blind couple’s sons - Kauravas. Maharashtrians would throw him out of Mumbai for being from UP/Bihar. Sanatan-Dharmavadis would send him death threats for corrupting the pure Hindu culture and the middle class with their Mandir-lust would dislike him for being too diplomatic.
If Ram was here today, he would be used for hand-waving in election rallies. The Facebook Feminists would go on a rampant screed blaming him for all the patriarchy in the world. No one would want to hear him out on Kashmir, regardless of his international relations experience with shifting territorial control (hint: Lanka power transition from Ravan to Vibhishan). Suppose he talks about Kashmir’s atrocities (which he would, out of Dharma), Hindutvavadis will label him a Muslim sympathizer. The government would detain him in a big posh isolation center in Ayodhya and declare - "things are completely normal”.
As for atheists who might enjoy the above satire too much, you just belong to a new Godless religion. You folks gather to chant your agenda, you look down on "people of faith" and yet you try to proselytize them. Your level of confidence in denying God's existence is oddly similar to that of a convicted child molester who says that he's not that into kids. You have bought science as your trophy wife. I asked science, and she confirmed that the relationship has always been toxic. She has nothing to offer to you on the matter of God. If someday, a randomized controlled trial disproves your idea of "no God", you'll be the first ones to throw acid on science.
Note: This is a SATIRE. In case you are offended, take it up with your self-doubts, insecurities, and lack of self-awareness; spare me.